Am I an Adult?

An essential rambling on adulting by Chinasa

Firstly, here is a short poem on the theme of being an adult because, poetry comes first obviously x

POEM

When I walk you see - WOMAN

You see a body that has been lived in

Hips that whack the wind because - don’t touch me

I carry every age I have ever been in the lining of my stomach.                                 
My hair is still telling my secrets

I crave sugar and whiskey                     
Heels hurt like a mother’s pinch                  
I don’t cough from cigarette smoke     
I don’t flinch from a hot comb to the temple
Sweet pollution lays fuzzy on my makeup

I can endure because I have seen the tomorrow they often speak of

I am warm from my core                          
My body aches to carry something soft and wet

I grew a throat and a nerve
My decisions are as precise as razors cutting my future into pieces I can swallow whole.

                                                                        C.

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Hi friend,

Have you accepted that you’re an adult yet and, if not, why haven’t you?

A person can come into this identity at any point in their twenties or, for the late bloomers, their thirties.

There is that grey area, an awkward transitioning period when you’re unsure of what it even means to be an adult. Up until entering your twenties you knew what was expected of you each year. You had clear guidelines on how to act, what to wear and what your contribution to society was which, usually consisted of getting an education, a whole lot of wishful thinking and being looked after by a parent or guardian.

The shift from being institutionalised by school and family, to having complete freedom, can feel like falling off a cliff before knowing how to fly.

I hear a lot of people say “there is no way we are the new adults” and I get it.

“Perhaps if we put off accepting we have reached adulthood, we can still hold on to the hope of achieving the things we’ve always wanted to achieve”

The dictionary definition of adulthood is the state or period of being fully grown or fully developed. I can’t say a lot of us feel like we’re in this state. The reason I say this is because we’ve all had the “when I get older I’m going to be-” conversation. If we are not who we thought we would be by now, and there is still something to strive for, can we say we are fully developed or grown? Do we even want to be?

What happens to the psyche of the individual who presents as an adult but does not feel fully grown or fully developed?The feeling of failure can creep in.

For so long we as individuals were judged by the binary standard of failing or succeeding. The end of year tests and exams to judge progress at school meant you either passed or failed. There were no second chances, or working things out at your own pace. But this isn’t exactly how the real world operates. We have space to make mistakes and pick ourselves up and try again without time putting us in a chokehold. Our friends, our brilliant cousins, our cohorts can no longer leave us behind because we’re all mixed into this messy soup we call adult life. Everyone is at different stages in life that render us incomparable. But we do it anyway, even to the point of comparing who we are with who our younger selves expected us to be. If I sat down to have a coffee with my younger self I think she’ll kick off because what do you mean we didn’t write our first novel by 25?!

A lot of us had and still have big dreams and not having achieved them yet can make us feel like we haven’t arrived into adulthood. Perhaps if we put off accepting we have reached adulthood, we can still hold on to the hope of achieving the things we’ve always wanted to achieve and, we can make mistakes without scrutiny.

Well friend, I’m happy to break it to you: we are the new adults and I think we’re all doing just fine. We can accept that we are no longer baby girls and boys while still holding on to our dreams and hopes for tomorrow. In this adult zone you have complete freedom to be who you want to be and you have less restrictions to pursue your goals. If I wanted to become a rapper tomorrow who can beat me? Seriously, I can do what I want and that is a beautiful state to be in. Time is nobody’s friend so we should use it wisely but while we’re busy adulting, we can still embrace our inner child by wearing pink and playing video games until 3am and having sweet treats for breakfast.

We are the new adults which means we have control over our lives. We speak for ourselves and we speak over our lives so, let’s be kind.

For those people who cannot be kind right now, that’s ok because you will get there and Christ Jesus who died and was raised to life is at the right hand of God interceding for you honey.

For those people who still want to be a baby girl or boy you will always be a child of God, haha.

Lastly for those people who are now accepting adulthood, welcome to the best time of your life.

See you soon love x